I totally hate my life now. Seriosuly i dont understand why i have to go thru all these shit over and over again. Haiz. How i wished my mum is not my mum, i wished i have a good and caring mother who loves me but no, why is my mum so selfish and thinking about herself only? She only came out from j*** for less than 2 years and she got herself remarried. It's fine with me that she's remarried. Then now she borrowed loanshark and she make up all sort of stories which i cant differeniate whether is true or not. Making me homeless now. My life sucks! I have to move out of my comfort zone! Haiz. I SERIOUSLY HATE HER TO THE MAX. & I also feel disappointed about my relatives, they cant helped much only know how to add oil and salt to my wound. Haiz. & I feel so bad that i have to give my boyf so much troubles, i feel damn pai seh about it lor but what to do, i got no other ways already. Haiz. I wonder why on earth i have sucha mother who only care about herself and man? Haiz. I feel so disappointed with her, making me upset always. Maybe i am damn gong to believe her like what my colleagues at work call me. Am i too dumb or just believe people easily? I really dont know. Why cant i lead a normal life like how others have? I so envy other people's life, whatever they have they get it. But for me, i need to work so hard for something i want. Even a simple thing of having a happy family is so difficult to happen. Ever since young until now, my life has never been better. Being good doesnt paid to be good, i try so hard to not go astray and dont allow people to look down on me because of my mum but all she do is to make me more malu in front of so many people. Haiz. Izzit so hard to be a good mum? She really break my heart. Haiz. Maybe i should give her up and start life anew. Because of her, i have to suffer all these things. I should stop ranting about my life. Anyways the best thing that happen to me is probably having a good boyfriend, my most blessed gift. Dear God, please do not take him away from me. I hope things will get better soon.